Everyone Has Peed Their Pants

Dear Snarky Mom:

My 4yo son has recently begun to wet his pants. It usually happens when we are out in public, or when he is in his room playing by himself. It really makes me mad when he does this, and its so embarrassing to have to run to a restroom to change his clothes. Help!

~Peed Off in Pittsburgh

Dear Peed Off:

Everyone wets their pants at some time. Hell, my mother pees her pants if she sneezes hard. A good friend of mine can't jump on the trampoline at the gym 'cause she'll totally flood the mat. Stop taking it personal. Unless it totally is, and then take him to a therapist 'cause I ain't qualified. Most likely, your kid is totally peeing himself because he's too busy to realize he has to go. It happens to me all the time, but I'm a grown woman with a huge bladder. Also, I've found out that wetting your pants is alot harder after decades of trying not to. But that is totally a separate blog entry. (Elizabeth Hasselbeck is a liar. Diapers will NOT work in a pinch if you can't find a bathroom on a long car trip.) The more you harp on your kid about wetting his pants, the more likely he is to do it. I don't know why this is true, but it is. But, this is an advice column, so here is the advice. Be proactive. If your kid just sucked down a sippy cup of apple juice on the way to Wal-Mart, take him to the potty before you get lost in the clearance aisle. He can't pee what he doesn't have. Set a frigging timer at home. It totally didn't work for my kid, but my friends swear by it. Of course, my kid is really freaking stubborn. But he didn't pee his pants. He'd just hold it for an extra minute or two and then decide to go. Its like he didn't like the timer telling him what to do. If you knew him, you'd totally see that in him. Also, try telling him that he only gets one pair of pants a day, and no one likes to smell stale pee. It totally worked for a friend of mine when her 4yo started to wet his pants. Its like that totally made sense to him and so he didn't pee his pants anymore. See? You just gotta make a bunch of shit up until something works. Oh, and pack extra clothes till he decides to stop doing it.

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